Shameful...
I grew up in Pangasinan but I don't know where Malasiqui is... it's far flung... irrelevant... just that they were from there...
When I was hospitalized the second time at RITM, they were at the next room... and just when they were about leave my brother caught them speaking in our dialect, or was it the other way around...? Anyhow, happy to see a fellow Pangasinense, they talked about us--their patient... and there, I met the mother and the sister, but not him... and to what I understand he was doing much better than I was... mainly because he was able to sleep well, and he was eating... me, my appetite was nowhere to be found then, and if I get to sleep for 30 minutes, I'd be lucky... They got my brother's number... and from time to time they text him...
Mostly, it was like comparing notes... they want to know how I am, for what was my state should be their child's state too, after all we were both PLHIV... But, I was fine... well, not fine-fine, I went through a lot... Him, Apparently, he was very sick... with lesion due to scratching all over his body... which was due to itching, which, I suspect was due to the ARV or other medications...
The thing was, I am doing fine... at least, better than him, who was loosing hope, self pitying and utterly wanting to give up... and so they want to bring me in to talk to him...
I don't think I am qualified... as much as I want to help...
I went through all those he was going through... I was on sleeping pills and antidepressant for a time... and even now, I still have my sumpong... just the other night, I threw everything off the bed-tossing and turning...
But the boy needs help... give him all the pills and antidepressants money can buy but the kid need someone to talk to... Mainly because more than anything else, what help me then was talking... I was talking to a pastor who have suffered from depression too... when he was actually telling his story, he was as if telling my own story... and it was reassuring... Sure, the sleeping pill was great and the antidepressant helped me be civilized... but it was more of the talking about it that helped me...
I want to help... reach out... I feel like I need to do something... but what...?
Photo credit:
"View of Malasiqui Church from Public Plaza"
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