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giant christmas tree @ araneta center, cubao
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Well yung mga lab test, they came out bad... no, I am not diabetic, blood sugar level is normal... so not the cause of my neuropathy... but my hemoglobin is still low... and that I still have TB on my sputum...
Late na me umalis sa bahay so pagdating ko, lunch na... eh Christmas party pa ng RITM... so hintay pa ng doctor... anyway, 2 lang kami na patient... ako luma... at isang bago...
May confirmation na siya... ewan ko kung saan galing... pero yun... he is new... medyo sunog yung balat niya, so I am guessing nagkasakit siya ng malala at nasunog yung balat niya sa antibiotic, parang ako nun... and I feel... know... he needs help... and I wanted to... just have no idea how...
Anyway, so doctor came... showed her my lab test result... no question, I have to be referred to DOTs again, which was still at the old opd annex clinic... problem was that, Christmas party nga kasi sa RITM, may program sa auditorium... and DOTs actually closed their clinic for the afternoon... I was able to get x-rayed though... pero yun, ifoforward sa DOTs, na close... I have to go back on Monday...
Now, back sa ARG... yun, di problem ang blood sugar ko with my neuropathy... and yun nga di effective ang Neurobion--the Vit B supplement and Gabapentin... and so the doctor looked at my cocktail nga... and yun, lumabas din na Stavu actually causes neuropathy... so kailangan na talaga siya palitan... pero kasi mababa pa rin yung hemoglobin ko... so she texted someone... fellow daw niya and ask for an opinion...
While waiting for an answer, yun, I told her about my concern about adjustment sa katawan... sabi, it should be expected, kahit na isa lang dun sa 3 yung papalitan... I shared na I like Efav... kasi tulog ako kaagad... sabi niya, madami daw complain dun kasi sa vivid dreams nga siya... sabi ko, "okay lang yun, basta wag lang manood ng horror at porn before sleeping..." Tawa si Doc... then share ko, minsan, pinanood ko yun 2012 bago ako matulog, before I know it, I was in the film... "armagedon doc, pero at least, kasama ko si John Cussack sa end of the world..." ang lakas ng tawa ni doc sa akin...
Anyway, sumagot din si "fellow"... dami tanong... which end ultimately with another lab test... this time for sodium, potassium, and total cholesterol... I can't make out the last word... pero ito pa isang epic fail ko... the test requires fasting, 8-12 hours... so I can't do it kanina sa RITM... I have to do it tomorrow... sa Polyclinic just outside our subd... problem is, di ko napansin... si doc nilagay niya na HIV infected ako dun sa clinical impression... napansin ko na lang siya when I got home... ang sakit tuloy ulo ko... so yun, I have to do the test this weekend, para handa siya ng lunes... kailangan lunes... kasi yun na yung huli ko na efav...
Ang sakit ng ulo ko actually kasi kapos na kapos na ko... allowance from mom will be delayed daw... and yun, di kasi kasama sa budget yung bagong test na inorder and yung trip ulit sa RITM... di ko pa actually alam gagawin ko...
Kanina, I thought about asking na lang na wag na lang muna palitan cocktail ko... kaya lang... isipin niyo, what I go through everyday... pagnaglalakad ako, feeling ko naglalakad ako sa crashed glass... may bigla pang feeling mo may tutusok na needle sa paa mo... this even if I'm just resting... lalo na pag gabi... kahit tulog... mahanginan lang yung paa ko, mararamdaman ko na yung sakit... that is what I go through everyday... to think mataas ang tolerance ko sa pain... kung ibang tao siguro ang nakakaranas nito, di nila kakayanin...
Mataas tolerance ko sa pain... halos kwarenta na temperature ko, nakakatayo at nakakakilos pa ko ng parang wala lang... belib mga nurse ko sa akin sa RITM nung naconfine ako before... may iinject sila sa IV ko na proven na nila with other patients, kahit maton, napapatili sa sakit... ako, okay lang...
So, yun, kailangan ko ipagawa yung test bukas ng umagang umaga para by Monday morning avail na siya... so I can take it to RITM again... and hopefully... actually, I don't know what to hope anymore or should I even hope pa... basta, kailangan ko ng refill by Monday...
Ilang beses na ko na chest x-ray, even in RITM... ngayon lang yata ako pinaghubad ng shirt... hmmmmmm...? hahahahahahahahaha... feelingerang frog nanamn ako!!! Anyway... kasi pagtapos x-ray, sabi niya hintay ako dun sa labas for the result... so akala ko, I will get it and I will bring it to DOTS, eh close nga, so I plan to go back to ARG and have them keep the xray... and akala ko mahabang hintayan siya, so I took out my notebook and wrote a note saying:
"If you need help, or have question or want to have someone to talk to... contact me at my twitter: @casuallypostiv or email me at casuallypositive@gmail.com... madami kaming PLHIV like you na pwede mong maging kaibigan..."
Pero di pa tatapos yung note ko, sinabi na niya, ifoforward na lang sa DOTS... inulit pa nga niya nung di ako umalis kasi nga tinapos ko muna yung note...
When I went back to ARG... andun yung kasama niya, nakaupo, but he was out of sight, I though baka nasa loob siya at kausap pa ni Doc... so I just thought, oh well, and left...
Nasalubong ko siya on my way out... ewan ko saan siya galing... pero yun, I flashed him a smile, introduced myself... and handed him the note... yes, I was flirty... I have always been flirty... I do it unconsciously... otherwise, if I knew I'm to flirt... I wouldn't be able to... He was not cute... not even if his skin was nice pa... pagtumaba siguro siya... hmmmmm... choosy pa ko 'no!?! Hahahahahahahaha... and yun nga, I gave him the note... then I realized, "are you internet savvy?"... he shook his head... sabi ko na lang... "keep the note, baka you might need it... we are here for each other..." and I said goodbye...
On my way home... I'm thinking... I could make a good counselor... for people like us... hmmmm...? I want to do that, but hey, I have to fix myself first...
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