Perhaps, I don't give my mom much credit for her strength... growing up, I have always been thought of as the strong one in the family, the one capable of hard decision, the one who will not flinch from pain and danger, the one who would know what to do in time of trouble... my mom often times would come to me if she was of a lost... but then, she was after all our mother, my brother and I, and she raised us alone... and that, it was through her that I had gotten my tenacity... through how she can accept facts of what we only have and what only we could do... It was through her examples that I learned that the world owe us nothing, it would continue to turn and move on... that crying may do good, but better to think of what to do next...
It was through her that I learned not to dwell on our loses, and to laughed despite adversity... as though I was told time and again I am my father's son through and through with my inquisitive mind and temperament... It was her I always try to be...
If only...
I text messaged her to tell remind her that I love her... and that I am going to sleep already... she replied asking how are we... and that if my feet still hurts...
I replied it still does, not taking any medication as prescribed... but that I was okay...
She asked why am I not taking my medication and suggested I should see another doctor...
I keyed in my phone that we don't have money, my medication cost 100 pesos per day... better to be spent of food... than perhaps a folly... the meds are no guarantee it would get rid of the pain... I would want to explain about neuropathy but that would be lengthy, and that when I tried to send the message... I had not enough credits of my phone...
I was crying...
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