AJ Matela is dead...

as per tweet of Carlos Celdran... I don't know neither of them personally... but Carlos Celdran have made a name of himself not only of his tour but his support to the RH Bill... which I still have no stand to... I am pro contraception, family planning and what not... but I can't make a stand on the RH Bill as I don't know what it contain exactly... plus, I'm sorry, politics are for clowns... 

AJ Matela is http://Baklaako.com...

I just can't help but think... maybe... I'm older than him... but then was he as coward as I that we write but not really ready to show the world who we really are... and therefore, closet we hide... he was known... I hide... and I hope I am wrong... the thought scares me...

Note to self:

I would take one of Carlos Celdran's tour when I get back on my feet... I never really know Manila... and I love Manila... specially the old part... 

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Fiction 002

“Ewan ko sa inyong mga babae, pero kaming mga lalaki... Hay naku!” sabi ko kay Sam. Tomboy si, Sam friend ko, magka-office mate kami, well nung trabaho pa ko... Nagpalibre ako ng dinner... and now, kape sa Starbucks... niyaya ko siya maglakad lakad sa mall habang kwekwentohan, di pwedeng umupo lang kami dun sa Starbucks... feeling ko, di ko matitiis, at maghahanap ng yosi...

“Babae ka pa rin naman ah, nagkataon lang na ang gusto mo, kapwa mo babae, ako, lalaki pa rin naman ako, at kaming mga lalaki, well, we are polygamous by nature... Kung yung may asawa nagluluko...! Yung pari nga! Bakla pa kaya!!!”

“Sino si Wanggo?!” tanong ni Sam.

“Si Wanggo...!” sagot ko, as if kailangan maalala niya kung sino si Wanggo, “Plus it's Wanggo! What would he want from me?!”

“He gave you his number...” Sam still confused.

“I asked for it...”

“Why, if you had no intentions of calling or texting...?”

“Just being polite,” I answered, “He asked for my number, I have not memorized my new number, kaya hiningi ko na lang yung sa kanya...”

“So, he asked for your number...?”

“I think he was just being polite...”

“I see...”

“How did we become friends...?” Tanong ni Sam...

“Through Kate,” sagot ko...

“At paano mo naging kaibigan si Kate?”

“Through Dee...”

“Na team mate mo so by default, tipong no choice, but to be friendly with...”

“Well...”

“Text mo si Wanggo, say hi... kamustahin mo siya...” she said, na parang nikikiusap.

“Why...?”

“The guy might need a friend, if not... God, knows you need a friend like yourself...”

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Nablock ang planetromeo account ko, rejected...

I don't exactly understand why... but there it is... http://planetromeo.com/casuallypositive is no more... may suspetsa ako pero  di ako sure... kaya di ko na inisip masyado... di ko na kinonsider... sana naging ganun din ang planetromeo...

Sayang kasi, yung traffic kasi ng blog na ito usually galing sa planetromeo... pinagiisipan ko, kung gawa ulit another account... pero tinatamad kasi ako now eh...

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shamcey

You might find it... hmmmm... yah, I'm that powerful... hehehehehehehehe... yabang... pero kasi di ko napanood ng live ang Miss Universe nung 1999, this after, every year ko naman inaabangan... tipong superbowl kaya ng mga bading ang Miss U... pero yun nga nung 1999 di ako nakapanood ng live for some reason and we emerged 1st runner up... and then last year, 2010, di ko nanaman napanood kasi I was at work... and what happened... we end up 4th runner up...

Jinx yata ako...?

I don't think she stand a chance... honestly... I don't even think she would make it to the top 16... I hope I'm wrong, I don't want to be right... like last year, I didn't think Venus Raj would win, mainly because her interviews were not as promising... but she end up 4th runner up... and I was right, interview would be her downfall...

With Shamcey... I really hope I'm wrong... but she does not strike me as someone who would make it even to the semis... bloggers and specially Missosology always put her on the top ten choices... I don't know their batting average... but let's really hope I'm wrong and they are right....

But remember 1994... when Miss Universe was held here, in Manila... Miss India, Sushmita Sen was unheard off... we followed the pageant closely being crazy about pageants, and we have our favorites... and indeed our favorite Miss Venezuela and Colombia made it 2nd and 1st runner up respectively, but Miss India came out of no where...

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Taga RITM ako...

Ang layo 'no... taga pasig ako, biglang sa Alabang ang treatment hub ko... ganito kasi yun, when I was confined at Medical City, na refer ako kay Dr. D as my infectious disease  specialist... She advised me to take the test outside, not at Medical City as if I turned out positive, my health card won't cover it, and therefore, I will not be able to afford staying there... Eh si Dr. D affiliated sa RITM... so dun niya ko dinerect...

Pwede naman ako sa San Lazaro o PGH, mas malapit... kaya lang inisip ko daming sakay ng jeep o FX... maiistress lang ako, mauusokan, maiinitan... eh ito yung time na ang lala ko, yung tipong baba lagnat ko after inom ng paracetamol, then a few hours tataas ulit, then lahat ng kinain ko, sinuka ko... so naisip ko, sa RITM, pagdating ko EDSA, sakay lang ako maayos na aircon bus... kahit malayo, itutulog ko...

Good choice naman ang RITM, di crowded... di kasi sila basta-basta tumatangap ng pasyente, di tulad sa PGH at San Lazaro... Sa San Lazaro daw minsan 3 tao magshashare ng kama, di room ha, kama... Sa RITM, kounti lang talaga pasyente, sabi nga ng nurse, minsan nga wala eh... and then before, yung atmosphere sa OPD Annex, parang family... before... may mga pagbabago kasi eh... dati kasi 1 month lang bigay ng ARV, now every 3 months na... so yun, dati monthly nagkikita, ngayon di na...

Over sa side bar, to your right is a list of treatment hubs all over the Phiilippines... Sa RITM ang home hub ko, di pwedeng basta na lang ako kumuha ng gamot kung saan... like what happened, kasi nasa Pangasinan ako now, akala ko makakakuha ako sa Baguio, pero yun di ako nakakuha, sinabi pa nila walang stock ng gamot... Pwede naman magtransfer ng treatment hub, pero kailangan ayosin niyo, kailangan yata may referral and yung confirmation na positive ka... di pwede yung basta ka na lang pupunta sa isang treatment hub at humingi ng gamot.

Si Bobby, na si DR. D din ang nagbigay ng contact number, eh taga PAFPI... di ko alam, lately ko lang nalaman na yan yung org niya... but yun nga, it's Bobby from PAFPI that I have been communicating with... di  naman ako dumaan sa counseling... Maybe I should be, but then... well, I was suffering of TB and I didn't want to deal with my being HIV+ at tangap ko na kasi, before pa ko nagpatest... tangap ko na... but if you needed assistance, pretest counseling, you can contact PAFPI or yung ibang support group na nakalista rin sa sidebar ko...

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kanino o saan...?

Yan ang most common question sa akin sa planetromeo... well, alam ko kung paano ko siya nakuha... by having unprotected sex kung kanikanino... pero kung saan at kung kanino... di ko alam... at di na kasi siya importante... nandyan na eh, wala ng sisihan and just deal with it...

Ang inaavoid ko lang isipin ngayon eh yung mga nakasex ko before at maaring nahawaan... because I knew... my gut feeling ako with all the unprotected sex I had since I was 21 na I might be HIV carrier... kaya nga lately, I did try to use protection, for my partner sake... nakakatawa nga eh, may minsan may nakasex ako... nung ipapasok ko na, naalala kong magcondom, tinanong niya ko bakit ako tumigil, sinabi ko, sabi niya wala naman daw siyang sakit... sinagot ko sa kanya, "eh ako, paano kung may sakit ako...?"

Kasi yun yata ang di nila nagegets eh, hassle magcondom, nakakawala ng momentum... di ba? tapos nakakabawas pa ng sarap... hehehehehehehehehehe... funny pero totoo...  yun ang di nila nacoconsider... abstinence is a joke specially on how much free sex is available... we are actually in an era yata na it's either you are HIV+ or you do not know what your HIV status... 

So I think, imbes na manakot about the risk of having unprotected sex... kasi yun ang strategy yata ng mga organization that deals with HIV Aids eh, to prevent it, dapat alam ng tao ang danger ng pakikipagsex kung kanikanino at walang protection... well, I wouldn't say it was worth it--I have painted the town hot pink!!! but I did enjoy myself tremendously... hehehehehehehehehe...

Yun eh, sex is one of our primal need, and it's almost readily available now a days... at masarap ang sex, pagnakatikim ka, gusto mo ulit-ulitin... nandun na ko sa dissemination of information kasi madami ngang walang alam, pero I think we should remove the fear factor... wag na manakot, we need to let people know that there is life after HIV, that it's not a death sentence... walang gamot pero we could control it... na we could live a normal and full life even with HIV... yun yata kasi ang di alam ng mga tao... ako rin naman, di ko alam yun... alam ko lang di ka agad mamatay, it takes years for HIV to kill you, pero di ko alam about ARV and whatnot... 

Sabi ko nga... specially sa gay community... na we are in a time na either you are HIV+ or you do not know your HIV status... and people don't get tested because, una di nila alam saan, pangalawa, they are afraid to do so... kasi nga nakakatakot, yun ang message ng mga AIDS advocate eh... pagnaka-aids ka, walang gamot dyan, mamatay ka na... so better to live not knowing than knowing you are to die anytime soon...

Ewan ko ha... sana may lumabas na poster or ad, showing na may life after HIV... that we can still have a normal and happy life after getting infected...

Question ko nga, will there be love and happily ever after after HIV?

feedback naman dyan o...

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