Page 14 of 366

6:00am: 3 tab to TB meds

Gabapentin failed, even at 900mg dose a day, no significant improvement of condition. Terminating procedure.


8:00am: arv: zido/lami, no Vit B, going to get some later. 


Gusto ko nood nito... wala problema ticket, may source, problem, kaya ko ba?

Page 13 of 366

Day 4: 

*Last day, not optimistic about the experiment results. But I knew that there were different opinion on the effectiveness of Gabapentin on HIV caused Neuropathy, some say it is effective and is recommended, some says it does not work even as a placebo.

8:00am, done, 300mg of Gabapentin, taken with ARV: Zido/Lami, run out VIT.B complex. no significant improvement on condition

2:00pm, forgot to take med, took med 3:20pm.

8:00pm, done, 300 mg of Gabapentin, taken with ARV: zido/lami and Efav, prophylaxis: Cotrimazol.

Getting suggestion about trying acupuncture, any thoughts?




Internet got disconnect, using prepaid connection now. Will last until tomorrow. Uncertain if be able to afford more prepaid credits after.


Planking exercise better than abdominal crunches.

Page 12 of 366

Day 3

*day 1, 300 mg Gabapentin, day 2, 600 mg of Gabapentin given in 2 doses on 6 hours intervals. No significant improvement in condition.

8:00am, done, 300mg of gabapentin, taken with Vit. B Complex and ARV: zido/lami. No significant improvement in condition

2:00pm, done, 300 mg of gabapentin. experiment in jeopardy, a few minutes after taking my second dose of gabapentin, I threw up. no significant improvement of conditon

8:00pm, done, 300mg of gabapentin. total of 900mg of gabapentin


Not very optimistic. No significant improvement of condition observed. Day 4 tomorrow, 900mg of gabapentin, given in 3 dose, on 6 hours intervals. If still no observable improvement in condition, we'll terminate experiment.

As far as I remember... it started when I got out the hospital the 2nd time... I was hospitalized twice, the first one was when I got diagnosed... and just over a month after, I was back in the hospital, this was July... it was due to high fever... they have not found the cause except, well, I have TB... and barely a month on ARV... but they found out that I am anemic... and I found out that blood transfusion, finding a blood match, was not easy... it was not just a matter of what blood type you have... my uncle had to go back and fort to the blood bank and the hospital 8 times to find me a match and I am a type O...!

I was starting to feel little tingling, then pin and needles just when we got out of the hospital... at first we thought it was just because of lack of activity... I was bedridden most of the time... and that I lost a lot of body and muscle mass... it was 130 lb in May to 90lb by July...

But then it started to get worst... it started to hurt... specially when walking... 

At first, we were thinking a twisted vein which causing trouble in blood circulation on my legs and feet... although if that were the case, there should be inflammation... but then we ignored that and my cousins were great, they have no problem giving me foot and leg massage... but then I also, as per logic, if this were a twisted vein, it should affect just one foot, but it was both my feet... so the vein in question should be around my waist and crotch area...

We are not seeing a doctor at this point because, what do I say... I am suffering from chronic pins and needles...?

That was my biggest problem, I am not able to validate it... good thing I blogged about it here... the pain I was suffering, how excruciating it could get and one reader, someone from twitter actually asked if am I suffering from peripheral neuropathy, to which, I have no idea what that is then... I went to google it and there it was... I was indeed suffering from  peripheral neuropathy, and that it affects a third of PLHIV...

Page 11 of 366

DAY 2


1st dose: 8:00 am, done, taken with ARV: zido/lami and Vit. B Complex. No significant improvement on condition.


2nd dose: 2:00 pm, done will be sleeping on it and see if second dose will improve condition.

Note: different opinion about gabapentin effectiveness on HIV caused neuropathy...

Peripheral Neuropathy is the term for damage to nerves of the peripheral nervous system, which may be caused either by diseases of or trauma to the nerve or the side-effects of systemic illness.

Those with diseases or dysfunctions of their nerves can present with problems in any of the normal nerve functions.

In terms of sensory function, there are commonly loss of function (negative) symptoms, which include numbness, tremor, and gait abnormality.

Gain of function (positive) symptoms include tingling, pain, itching, crawling, and pins and needles. Pain can become intense enough to require use of opioid (narcotic) drugs (i.e., morphine, oxycodone).

Skin can become so hypersensitive that patients are prohibited from having anything touch certain parts of their body, especially the feet. People with this degree of sensitivity cannot have a bedsheet touch their feet or wear socks or shoes, and eventually become housebound.

Motor symptoms include loss of function (negative) symptoms of weakness, tiredness, heaviness, and gait abnormalities; and gain of function (positive) symptoms of cramps, tremor, and muscle twitch (fasciculations).

There is also pain in the muscles (myalgia), cramps, etc., and there may also be autonomic dysfunction.

During physical examination, specifically a neurological examination, those with generalized peripheral neuropathies most commonly have distal sensory or motor and sensory loss, though those with a pathology (problem) of the nerves may be perfectly normal; may show proximal weakness, as in some inflammatory neuropathies like Guillain–Barré syndrome; or may show focal sensory disturbance or weakness, such as in mononeuropathies. Ankle jerk reflex is classically absent in peripheral neuropathy.

tried on new shirt...

nice boxers ba? lolz
I'm home... i like it to be airy...

Page 10 of 366

6 am: TB meds... 3 tablets...

8 am: ARV: zido/lami, vit B, and Gabapentin...

According to my reading, at least 900mg per day, given in 3 doses... each capsule is 300 mg... to start, on day 1, 300 mg... day 2, 600 mg... day 3, 900 mg...

Today is day 1...

bangag pa ko last night...

Nung sulat ko yung last entry... bangag sa byahe... I really don't travel well... tapos iyak pa ko ng iyak... ewan ko sa inyo, pero ako pagtapos ko iyak, aantok ako... pero di ako makakatulog kasi barado ilong ko dahil sa natuyong uhog... hay naku, kung walang uhog na kasama yung iyak... di masyadong convincing 'no... hehehehehehehehehe...

Taposin ko na 'tong Skins... para start ko na "Games of Thrones"...

episode 7

Effy has been in a psychiatric hospital, but with the help of Anthea and her counsellor John Foster, she finds the will to get stronger and return home. Her life is now dictated by routine and self-control. Anthea has completely cleared out her room so that there’s no evidence of the old Effy remaining. She appears happy, clear and hopeful for the future. However, Anthea and Freddie become worried about her counsellor's methods when she begins to reject her identity, her friends and her bad memories. She relapses when she and Cook walk past the scene of Tony’s accident and returns to hospital. Effy is upset when Foster arrives and Freddie threatens him, telling him to stay away. Foster then invites Freddie to his home where he admits to using unusual methods in Effy's case and to having feelings for her. However, as Freddie is about to leave, he finds the door is locked. Foster then lifts a baseball bat and brutally beats Freddie to death. Final appearance of Freddie. 

Tapos, last episode, episode 8...

Karen and Cook are worried about Freddie's whereabouts. Karen gives Cook Freddie's notebook, which hints that John Foster wants to hurt Effy. The police raid Naomi's house after Cook's one night stand tells them where he is. Cook escapes and flees to Freddie's shed where he meets Effy. The rest of the gang meet there and throw a birthday party for Freddie in his absence. Naomi admits her love for Emily, who in turn takes her back. Cook heads outside briefly where he spots a figure observing Freddie's house and follows it, assuming it to be John Foster. Thomas and Pandora also make up. Cook breaks in to John's basement where he finds Freddie's blood-stained clothes. Foster soon arrives with the baseball bat and knocks him to the ground, telling him that he is “nothing." Cook rises, laughing and admits he is a criminal and has no sense. He then tells John that he knows he killed Freddie. He suddenly attacks and swings at Foster as the episode ends, leaving their fates unknown. Final appearances of Effy, Pandora, Thomas, JJ, Emily, Naomi, Cook, and Katie. 

So, I have stopped crying and started thinking... life goes on, I know... I don't know what is happening to me... my brother observe that I have been quite emotional lately... di naman daw ako ganun dati... true... di ko alam... napakaiyakin ko lately... and needy... grabe... palagi ko hinahanap yung kapatid ko... nagkakaroon ako ng separation anxiety... nung punta ako sa RITM kahapon magisa... I keep texting him... ito pa, ewan ko, di na normal siguro 'to... I asked him to tack me to bed at night and stay there to watch over me until I fall asleep... I was never like that before... Before, I actually hate to even have someone else in my room, I can't sleep!!!

I don't know... maybe the drugs... My mom likes it... I text her, sometimes call, to tell her I am to sleep na... then, I tell her that I love her... dati kahit nga pasko di kami nagtatawagan eh...

So yun, mahal yung gamot... and yung mga test...

Well, yung mga test naman sa December pa... I still have time to raise the funds... hopefully I would be able to...

The gamot... well, mahal talaga siya... but maybe, I could do a day at a time... it is still Php47.25 a day but yun... I am telling you, tinitiis ko lang yung sakit ng paa ko... I need this... tipong, try na lang iraos... 

So, I had my brother go and buy me 2 sets, for 2 days... that's Php94.50...

Then, binasa ko ulit yung last entry ko... and saw this...

"provides significant pain relief in about a third of people who take it for fibromyalgia or chronic neuropathic pain. It is also effective in reducing narcotic usage post operatively and is helpful in neuropathic pain due to cancer. It has not been shown to be useful for HIV associated sensory neuropathy. When used for neuropathic pain it does not appear superior to carbamazepine. Further evidence is needed to determine if it is effective for migraine prevention. It appears to be equally effective as pregabalin and is of lower cost. It does not appear to be of benefit in treating complex regional pain syndrome." 

Plus, I went over again the article at Wikipedia... ang dami pala controversies yung Gabapatin... ang sakit ng ulo ko...

Pero, okay-okay... sige... I need to trust the doctor... it was prescribe... they know better... I really need to trust in that...

Ewan... dasal na lang siguro... dasal na lang ng dasal hangang mapakingan na Niya ko...

I do have a great sense of direction...

I need to find a place... I stumble to it immediately, like I know where exactly it is... I'm lucky that way... I was at RITM, OPD Annex was moved, don't know where, but just walked on a general direction and there I was... the same thing happened actually when I went to RITM the first time... that was May... never been to Alabang before... but when I got there, I was told to look for the new firehouse, literally I stumbled on it... nadapa ako as usual ng walang karason-rason and when I look as I pick myself up, there's the firehouse... galing 'no...

I went kasi last night I notice na kounti na lang yung ARV ko... and indeed for 9 days na lang siya, so tipong 1 weeks na lang... eh ayoko naman mangyari ulit tulad nung huli na naubusan ako at tipong laki ng problema... so I decided to go... long due na rin kasi yung need for me to see a doctor... because of my neuropathy and the blood stain on my sputum...

Good thing pa, I went later... I was planning sana to go really early to avoid traffic... like before 6am early... mabuti na lang natakot ako sa lamig tubig pag naligo ako... so I left around 9 na, and arrived at RITM almost 11 am na... buti na lang, kasi there were no doctors available... the doctor only came after lunch... but even so, I was only able to talk to a doctor around 3 pm na... 

Wait... do you maintain a private doctor? Should I maintain a private doctor and just go to RITM for ARV refills? 

Why am I even asking, as if I could afford it...

O sige, out of curiosity...

So I told the doctor about the neuropathic pain... I told her about the last time when I told about the doctor about it, and was recommended to take Vitamin B Complex... I told her that I was taking Neurogen E... but to no avail... so she decided to put me on Gabapentin, which when I check, according to wikipedia:

 "provides significant pain relief in about a third of people who take it for fibromyalgia or chronic neuropathic pain. It is also effective in reducing narcotic usage post operatively and is helpful in neuropathic pain due to cancer. It has not been shown to be useful for HIV associated sensory neuropathy. When used for neuropathic pain it does not appear superior to carbamazepine. Further evidence is needed to determine if it is effective for migraine prevention. It appears to be equally effective as pregabalin and is of lower cost. It does not appear to be of benefit in treating complex regional pain syndrome." 

Sounds promising... she also recommended a Vitamin B complex brand, as it is more concentrated... Neurobion?

I also mention about the blood streak on my phlegm... explaining that I was a TB patient, recovering, I hope... She was a bit concern... but when I explained the circumstances, like I have no shortness in breathe or difficulty in breathing, no fever, no lost of appetite... she was relieved... she think it is just gasgas sa lalamonan... but just to make sure and anyway it was my fifth month of therapy... she wants me to take sputum test...

And then, maybe she just thought to ask, if the family have a history of diabetes, which, yes we do... and she thinks, though I am too young, high blood sugar can also cause neuropathy... so she also wants me to take blood sugar test, I forgot the right term but basically that is another test...

So, I started on ARV around 2nd week of June... My CD4 was done about a week or so before that... so my 2nd CD4 should be around 1st week of December... the doctor noted that... and educated me na malakas magpapayat ang Stavudine... she explained that perhaps the reason why I was given Stavudine before was because I have low hemoglobin... so she ordered, aside from CD4 count, CBC... she also just gave me just a month supply of ARV, since yun nga, next month, I might be given a different combination of ARV...

On Skins season 4, Episode 5: JJ is in love with Lara Lloyd, a fellow employee at a confectionery shop, but lacks the courage to ask her out. Thomas gets JJ to ask her out and she accepts. He visits Lara’s flat and discovers that she is a single mother with a young child. Lara’s ex-boyfriend, Liam, walks in and threatens JJ, telling him to leave Lara and his child alone. The date goes disastrously as a result, and Lara leaves. JJ finds her and they have sex at Lara’s. JJ returns home but his mother takes him to the clinic for more medication. JJ lets Lara meet Naomi and Emily. Upstairs, Emily tells JJ that Lara is using him to get back at her ex. JJ snaps at Emily and makes remarks on her own relationship, reducing her to tears. JJ’s family also think Lara is a slut and she leaves, offended. JJ becomes angry and beats up Liam when he sees him talking to Lara, who then calls off their relationship. JJ apologises to Liam who tells JJ he loves his child and for JJ to look after Lara. JJ serenades Lara with a ukelele version of 'True' by Spandau Ballet, and she takes him back.


On my way home, I pass by Mercury Drug... I took out the prescription for my neuropthy... and have them priced it... Gabapantin is Php29.75 each, a table a day, for 15 days... and the Neurobion is Php17.50 each, a tablet a day, for 30 days... so I was looking at Php446.25, just for the Gabapantin... and if I just get 15 tablets of the neurobion, Php262.50... I only just have Php1500... naiyak ako...


Wala, naawa ako sa sarile ko... wala kasi akong pambili... akala ko kasi matatapos na yung hirap ko... yung sakit... I was so hopeful... pero, yun nga... mahal pala... tapos I started thinking saan ko kukunin yung pambayad dun sa mga test... CD4 alone cost Php3000... as it is hirap na hirap na kami to make things meet... so yun, sa paglabas ko ng Mercury, naiyak na lang ako... try ko pigilan kasi nakakahiya... pero wala... di ko mapigilan... umupo na lang ako sa isang tabi... 


Feeling ko kasi talong talo na ko... and as much as I want to fight back it is either I am starting to believe that it is no use... o pagod na pagod na lang ako...


Syempre drama lang yan... wala naman ako choice but to get up, wipe my tears away, hail a jeep... get home and be crazy again to believe everything is going to be okay...