there i was

I ignored that I am at 38.5 and just went.

For some reason, I was not having problem walking. I was running out of breath, this even with a bagpack airport officials wouldn't allow because of the weight. I got off Anonas, walked where I can catch a ride, I should be at Kamias Cor. Edsa. and just as easily, I caught a good bus to Alabang. It was one of those new buses with a good aircon and nice seats. And there were not much passenger so I was left alone as soon as I paid, got my ticket, I slept.

The next thing I know, the bus is swerving on a turn, and outside, it says Sussana Heights. I have no idea where I am so I just stayed on my seat. And then I saw SM Muntinlupa, that's when I got a gut feeling that I am lost. And indeed, the conductor said Alabang and the way to go to RITM is way back. I have to get off, take a jeep back to Alabang, which I saw come plenty. So I went. The jeepney driver was nice to direct me where I can get a ride to RITM. I didn't understand it but I guess it is the thought that counts. I was at junction, said the crew at Jollibee, and he also does not know how to go to RITM, he went to asked, I was asked to walk further to my left and then to my left again, there would be shuttle stations there, just ask.

Lunch was Shanghai Roll, Pineapple Juice, and creamy macaroni soap. I was enjoying the meal, I was half way through it and I was to finish the whole lot. But then, I was half way through suddenly, I coughed, and everything came gushing from my stomach to my mouth and into my plate. It was a mess, I had to get out of there with just my pineapple juice.

I just went to find the shuttle. It was a very short walk, and there I was, the crew failed to mention it was the way to Festival Mall, and there the shuttle were at the side of an orange building. And it is cheap. 40 pesos, another passenger split it with me, so 20 each, but I think I could go alone and just pay the whole 40 pesos.

This was Monday, I texted Bobby, the NGO that was referred by Dr. Ditangko, as soon as I got on the bus to Alabang. Bobby said he is on leave, I remember, it's indeed Monday. I wonder if one of his patient is having a crisis on a Monday?

I also messaged Dr. Ditangko but she only replied “Ok”. Once I am at RITM, I texted her again, asking what now. She messaged me back to go to OPD, which was crowded and look for a certain Ana. I went to asked the guard and I was directed to her. She was nice, very nice, but she have no idea why am I there and that I have to tell her how I met Dr. Ditangko and so there I was for HIV testing. She told me I need to undergo counseling first and I was directed to the second floor, to the nurse's supervisor office and look for another woman. She was alone in the office, so it was no brainer and that she was nice. She told me that indeed she is the nurse supervisor and that she do patient counseling. She had no idea what she was doing.

She is nice, very accommodating but she asked me stupid and irrelevant questions. At the end, I didn't get any counseling. What I got is a consent form that I came for the test voluntarily. I was told to check the result on Friday, if not check again the following week. I told her, I am from Marikina, I can't not just go back and fort just like that. She said, I just need to call. Asked if the results are in, if they are, that's the time I go back to RITM. Everything would be confidential, I was asked for a code, I put my porn name—the street where you were born, and your mother's maiden name.

RITM is not nice inside. The lawn is nice but not inside. And the service, it was bad, really bad. Well, I guess, government hospital. The nurse supervisor sealed my consent form to an envelope and there is another form, I guess the order for the test. It does not say for HIV test, but there was a code again. I was directed to pay to the cashier first to pay. The test is about 450 pesos, once I pay, I go to the lab. There, 3 interns who have no idea what is going on manned the window, there were giggling with not having an idea what to do. I was asked to wait. 30 minutes have pass, the nurse who would extract my blood was back from lunch, it's almost 2 pm.

Government hospital.

I left RITM as soon as my blood was extracted. Left Alabang. I was lucky with buses, it was good bus again. I know I was running a temperature again, as despite the 2 o'clock sun, and walking to the foot bridge to the other side, I was not sweating.

The huge backpack I was carrying was full of clothes. I had planned that after going to RITM, I would be going home to Pangasinan and visit The Shrine of Our Lady Of Manaoag. It have been years since the last time I was there and pay homage, I was hoping for a miracle and I know She is the only one I can run to now.

While waiting for other passengers, I took my thermometer out and indeed, I am at 38.9 degree Celsius and I was having second thought about pushing through going to Pangasinan, from Cubao, it is a 5 hour bus trip. And so I was praying, I was praying that if I reach Kamias—I didn't want to get off Cubao, too much people and a little dangerous and too much walking—and I am not okay, I won't go and just go home in Marikina. I fell asleep again on the bus ride, when I woke up, it is already Cubao and in just a few, I was off Kamias. I was hungry.

I went to Jollibee again. I ordered the macaroni soup again and pineapple juice. Finished everything. Still with a temperature, although lower: 38.1. I got out of Jollibee, I was to go to Pangasinan, but at the parking lot, I started throwing up again. Good thing there were a lot of cars and the mess I was making was concealed. I am usually okay, after a throw up, a bit exhausted, but okay. I crossed Edsa. Catch a bus, didn't bother to seat, told conductor I am to get off at Victory Liner Station.

I think the ticket was 350 pesos. While waiting again for other passengers, I was contemplating if I would be able to stand the 5 hour bus ride. Certainly I would be able to eat, not even drink water as I might throw up and if I don't eat, likelihood, my temperature would go up again. I don't care about the 350 I already paid. And I was praying for what seemed to be an eternity on my seat for a sign if I should get off. Maybe that was the sign. It took almost an hour of wait before the bus finally closed the door and off we started the 5 hour journey.