hub talk

Perhaps you can argue that RITM, having the least number of patients among the 3 HIV Treatment hubs in the Metropolis, that it would be the best hub for you being it would mean more time and attention can be given to you and the risk of running into someone you know is lesser... I would beg to differ and that the second reason should not be even considered in your choosing which would you go to...

I am from RITM... which is in Alabang, Muntinlupa... and I am unfortunately from Pasig, near Marikina and Cainta... and that it takes me more or less 2 hours before I get there for ARV refills and check up... And that it have been a problem, kasi minsan suddenly nagkafever ulit ako and alam naman natin na with our condition hindi na natin pwedeng basta-basta wag pansinin ang lagnat as it can mean something worse... so I wanted sana to have myself check right away... eh kaso, ang layo ng RITM sa akin at kung pipilitin ko na pumunta, eh baka lalong lumala... so you see, the first thing you need to consider in choosing your treatment hub is location... 

Your treatment hub needs to be the nearest one to you and most convenient... Para anytime na may mangyari sa'yo or you needed something, mas madali... actually yan lang yung dapat na batayan mo sa pagpili ng treatment hub... I have heard time and again, that one of the consideration kasi is anonymity... natatakot sila na may makakita sa kanila na kakilala nila, natatakot sila that people would know that they have HIV...

Medyo secluded nga ang RITM, one of the reasons nga why mas kounti ang pasyente... pero may pasyente pa rin at may mga tao pa rin... so para sa akin di valid yung reason na yan... mas delikado nga na makita ka sa RITM kasi unlike SLH and PGH, hindi general hospital ang RITM... at least, kung nakita ka sa PGH or SLH pwede mong sabihin na kasi malala na sipono ubo... sa RITM, ano? Nakagat ka ng aso?

Pero kasi in our condition, and to what we know now about it... prejudice and bigotry should be our least of our concerns... sure, despite the massive growth of HIV infection in this past years here in our country eh madami pa rin ang mababaw ang pagunawa sa sakit natin... I think one of the reason why is we are in denial of it... we deny that we are HIV+ and living normal lives, and in denial that it could not happen to us... 

This may sound preachy pero kasi... people tend to believe it is still a dreaded disease... when in truth, as in this time and age, it is now equated to having hypertension and diabetes... which are two of the top killers in the Philippines... and sure, while this two disease are hereditary in nature at ang HIV is communicable through having unprotected sex... eh ano ngayon, sa maganda ako, nagpakatotoo lang ako, at naging mahina sa tawag ng laman... ano ngayon? 

Ang point ko lang is that, we are still wrapped around the idea na the reason we got HIV is because we were immoral to the extend na sakit pa rin ng mga bakla, na ayun sa sabihan eh masama... kaya tayo nagkaAIDS kasi immoral tayo... and that we fearing the bigotry and prejudice, makes it more a fact...

Di ko naman sinasabi na ipagsigawan mo sa boung mundo... I just don't think it should be something we should be ashamed of...

Sorry... medyo nalihis yata... let us go back...

Yun nga, the only reason you should consider in choosing your hub is location... kung madali ba sa'yong mapuntahan, makatakbo sa hub mo... kasi nga anytime na may mangyari sa'yo o may concern ka, di magiging masyadong hassle...

I won't try to raise a debate in which one is the best among the three hubs... nakakatawa nga kasi pag pinagcocompare, ang RITM daw exclusive school, ang PGH is pag intellectual... at ang SLH pang poor... ah ewan sa inyo, pero medyo totoo yung sa RITM, kasi as compared dun sa 2, mahal ang RITM... tulad ng pagpapaCD4, libre sa SLH... pero pareparehong public ang 3 hospital na yan ha... The thing is, I don't know about SLH, pero sa PGH... you are given a doctor to handle you as his or her patient... kasi sa RITM, iba-iba... papalit palit... every 2 weeks yata ibang doctor nanaman... so hindi natutukan ng isang tao lang ang kaso mo ang history, which is very important... as we all know naman kasi, lifetime achievement award ang HIV so kailangan may doctor ka na kahit in a period of time eh alam ang history mo... Sa RITM kasi minsan, kailangan ko pang ikwento yung history ko or kailanga ireview yung folder ko... so kung sakaling nahihingalo ka, either kailangan mong pilitin ikwento ang lahat ng nangyari sa'yo o they need to review and study your history... di ba?

Though this could be remedied naman... you can get a private doctor... an infectious disease doctor who would monitor you... competitive naman ang rates, to what I heard one of the most esteemed infectious disease specialist, si Dr. Ditangco, charges 500 pesos... well, libre ang check up sa PGH and the other two hubs, pero kung kaya mo naman di ba... may mga tao na pangkape lang nila yan... you will still need a hub for your ARV refill... pero the thing is may isa kang doctor who you can built a relationship with in maintaining your health...

Nasa sidebar ko ang list ng mga treatment hubs all over the country, with their address and phone numbers...

Okay, I'm Back

At this time last year, I was confined at RITM... confirmed HIV+... with a CD4 count of 22, thus stage 4 AIDS... I was also suffering from tuberculosis...

It had been a rough one year, I must say... and that though things had been getting better, I still feel being pounded...

I am still suffering from Neuropathy... That didn't went away... but I am learning to live with it, working my way around it... accepting the discomfort as a fact of my life... binibiro ko nga sarile ko, that the reason na hindi siya nawawala kasi para may constant reminder ako na, "Anak, di ka na basta-basta pwedeng lumandi ngayon..."

Otherwise kasi, I am okay... I have not been sick... kahit nga sipon... and I may not be in my best shape yet, but I am getting there... back working out... I am able to eat, pero yung lakas ng kain ko was not as before... dati kasi kain construction worker ako eh... ngayon, busog na busog na ko isang cup ng rice lang...

Payat pa rin ako... I have not weighted myself yet again... pero madaming nagsasabi na lumalaki na ulit ako, pati kulay ko bumabalik na... maputi kasi ako pero nung nagkasakit ako, for some reason, nangitim ako... I think it have something to do with the TB meds, kasi they say namumula ako... which they think is a better skin tone pero kasi kung pangit ka katulad ko, mas maganda kung maputi ka... lolx

I am on my last bottle of ARV set kasi... so I need to go visit my hub again, soon... dun na ko magpapaweight in... para at least official... at di ko lang eneechos... lolx

Well, I have to pay my contribution to my PhilHealth muna... kasi I have been paying lang per quarter... end of every quarter pa... I was told the last time I went to RITM na I need to pay in advance, and was advise na to pay for a full year na kasi daw may plan ang PhilHealth to increase contribution by July... so FYI lang...

I am not taking any supplements... kahit nga yung cotri, I stopped it na... kasi I read it somewhere na mas maganda kung my economy ng drugs... meaning, the less drugs you take, the better... so yung pinakaessential lang dapat yung itetake mo... mainly because it could conflict with the ARV... and in my case, baka kasi toxicity yung nagcacause ng neuropathy ko... kahit daw yung mga organic supplements, not advisable...

The better advise is to eat well, eat healthy, get enough sleep, avoid stress and exercise... Not that I am following all those advise. I eat, yes... try to get enough sleep... and that I work out... but you know...

I had not had sex yet... horny as I am...

Well, it have been more than year already since the last time I get laid...

It was funny nga at twitter the other day... someone asked what will happen if you continue having sex...? Like, kung pwede pa ba...? Which, the answer to the question is yes... as long as you practice safe sex... not for your partner's sake, although that should be considered by your conscience... but much so yourself... hey, I believe in loving first yourself... because there is such thing as reinfection... which may cause the HIV to be immune to ARV... 2nd, since your immune system is compromise already, you are susceptible to other STD out there...

There is a concern that HIV lowers libido... well, kung malakas ang konsensya mo, baka... because like in my case, I am very apprehensive pa about having sex... in fear that, well, condoms do break... pero otherwise, lalake ka pa rin... tao ka pa rin... malilibogan at malilibogan ka pa rin despite the virus...

I am not exactly the authority about HIV and other concerns about it... and that mababa tolerance ko sa stupidity... but I try and that you can try to reach out to me for help... the best way would be through twitter, you can follow me at @casuallypositiv, kasi mas madalas instant yung sagot ko... and that if I don't know the answer, may mga ibang twitdudes na pwedeng sumagot ng tanong mo or can assist you... this blog is also open and you can email me: casuallypositive@gmail.com.

pangit me

Feeling ko kasi ang pangit pangit ko...

Kahit sa mga bago me pic... walang lumalabas na maganda...

Well, ang payat ko pa rin...

Tapos, nasa bahay lang kasi ako... so di ako masyado nagaayos... ni magpagupit di ko magawa... tamang tamad lang...

Ewan...

I miss able to turn heads... ang yabang eh... hahahahahahahaha... namimiss ko na yung may nagpapacute sa akin... hahahahahahahahahaha...

blog this

My other blog is about to reach 1 million hits...

I dropped that blog before when I got sick... even put it on private... then reopen it again to the public because there were a lot of request... but I was not updating it... I actually did plan to transfer the ownership of that blog before... but then, one of the guys I appointed to administer the blog posted something I didn't like... he posted dick pics... just dicks... well, I have preference... I have no problem with nude pics, showing the male genitalia... but just pictures of dicks, I don't want that... so, I changed my mind, and kept my administrator powers on the blog... I wanted control... not exactly censorship, but at least I wanted to be able to reprimand... which backfired as there was not much update from the people who I gave authorship of the blog...

I started the blog August 2010... I got sick and diagnosed with HIV May of 2011... so for almost a year there was not much new entries... but still... the blog is about to hit the 1 million mark...

I started to blog on it again...

I was reading this blog last night: http://2titillate.blogspot.com/

Very interesting... 

I find it really interesting...

hmmmm...

I want a text mate... and I thought of him...

"Hi, kamusta ikaw?" 

"K lng.  Pagod. Init kc e. u?"

"Okay din lang... Inaantok pero di makatulog..." 

"Hanap kayakap?" 

"Ang init na nga, hanap pa ako kayakap...?" 

"Bka ibng init ramdam m" 

"Hahahahahahaha... Bakit available ka ba?" 

"Kung bj mq at papafuck k" 

"Hahahahahahaha... di ako magaling bj... hahahahahahahaha... hanap muna ako pagprapractisan... hahahahahaha... wag ka nga ganyan, baka patulan kita, magsisi ka... hahahahaha..." 

"Bka di ka mkalakad pagtapos kta mfuck..."

"Hahahahahaha... ganun ka kadahas...? hahahahahaha..." 

"Papaluwagn q ass m. hahahahahahaha"

"Uy... Virgin na kaya ulit ako... Mag1 yr na kaya ako wala sex... hahahahahahaha..." 

"Kung ganun bka duguin k. hahaha..." 

"Hahahahahahaha... depende yun kung gaano kagaling ang top... wapak! hahahahahahahaha..." 

No reply...

music in my ears

Why you so obsessed with me? Boy, I wanna know
Lyin' that you're sexin' me when everybody knows
It's clear that you're upset with me
Finally found a girl that you couldn't impress
Last man on the earth still couldn't hit this

You're delusional, you're delusional
Boy, you're losin' your mind
It's confusin' you, you're confused you know
Why you wastin' your time?
Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex
Seein' right through you like you're bathin' in Windex


But of course it's not polite
To ask you where you spent last night
And if I did you might reply
That I have no right
And anyway I'm fine
Glad that you're no longer mine
If I should tell a lie
I'll cross my heart and hope to die

I see you driving 'round town

With the girl i love and i'm like,

Fuck you!

Oo, oo, ooo

I guess the change in my pocket

Wasn't enough i'm like,

Fuck you!

And fuck her too!

I said, if i was richer, i'd still be with ya

Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)

And although there's pain in my chest

I still wish you the best with a...

Fuck you!

 

Take me by the tongue

And I'll know you

Kiss me till you're drunk

And I'll show you

All the moves like jagger

I've got the moves like jagger

I've got the mooooooves like jagger

I don't need try to control you

Look into my eyes and I'll own you

With them moves like jagger

I've got the moves like jagger

I've got the mooooooves like jagger

Boy you got my heartbeat runnin' away
Don't you hear that heartbeat comin' your way?
Oh it be like, boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom, boom bass
Can't you hear that boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom, boom bass?

The scars of your love, remind you of us.
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside your hand
And you played it
To the beat





Sometimes I wake up by the door
Now that you've gone, must be waiting for you
Even now when it's already over
I can't help myself from looking for you

I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touched your face
Let it burn while I cried
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Where I felt somethin' die
'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time, oh

Oh, no
Let it burn, oh

day me

The last time I had sex was May 14, 2011...

It was a foursome... almost a year now...

I have an excuse... what's yours?

My brother told me he had talked to our mom...
She said she doesn't have money as she was to buy me an IPhone... 

from planetromeo

"good morning..have a great day...

take care always....

God bless.."

":)

kaw din..."

"hehe...I thought that u r a gud person...

hope u r..hehe"

"I try..."

"try for what?"

I am in badly need of a haircut...

I know that...

But I also know I want to grow my hair long...

Keep thinking about this bag I saw at Guess in Sta. Lucia Mall...

It's three thousand pesos...

I need to get myself a job!!!

coffee for breakfast--Nescafe 3in1 lang ha...

Sisig and a cup of rice for lunch @ our friendly neighborhood carenderia...

chopseuy rice at Chowking for dinner...

Bought two lotto ticket, lucky pick, for the two draws...

Hoping if I win, I would buy that bag at Guess, and no longer have to look for a job...

I didn't win...