That is the scenic Mt. Mayon Volcano on my backdrop...

Luka-luka kasi ako, dapat advocacy ko anything that have something to do with HIV Aids, specially prevention... pero 'eto ako... Philippine Tourism ang promote ko... hehehehehehehehehe... bakit, bawal? Eh madami ng blog na ganun eh... and they know better... so hayaan ko na lang sila dyan...dito ko sa Philippine Tourism...

Anyhow, supposedly, my interview ako yesterday sa Ortigas... sa Centerpoint Building, Garnet Rd... sabi ni Gurlalu na naginterview sa akin over the phone, five blocks from Megamall... Checked ko sa google maps--tech!!!--di kasi ako familiar masyado sa Ortigas Center, kahit malapit pa siya... and yun... limang kanto nga siya... lalakarin ko... Okay, sige, titiisin ko yung sakit ng paa ko--may neuropathy pa kasi ako... gabapantin and neurobion seemed not working... pero yun nga, for the past days lalagnat ako and yun nga yung concern dun sa blood--read previous posts... so dasal ako... kasi di rin naman ako sure if I could work na... I don't know kung kaya ko ng mastress ng todo-todo... so hingi ako ng sign if i should go or not dun sa interview... 

It rained... it rained all morning...

Naawa na kasi ako kay mama... we barely can't make ends meet... so I was willing to go out na there and work... despite my neuropathy, despite not being sure if my body can handle stress na... tinanong nga ako ni mama if kung kaya ko na ba... sabi ko kailangan kayanin ko...pero ito nga, umulan... so dasal ako, eh paano na kasi...? 

My brother received a call, it's from a call center company, I sent din kasi his resume... and he was invited in... sa Makati, medyo malayo... pero sige na... bawal maging choosy...

Then I was giving him some pointers... una, the written test is usually logic, reading comprehension, internet navigation, and listening skills... 

If you pass the written exams... interview ulit... sa interview aside from well you have to speak English... dapat you make them know you are willing to learn, if you don't know something, asked or research on it... and that you are a fast learner...

I remember, sa first call center ko, in my initial interview, I was asked to describe to a blind girl that the balloon is colored perry winkle... I don't know what perry winkle was... and that I asked my interviewer what it is... I thought that cost me the job but apparently she liked it that I asked at di nagdunong-dunongan... if you don't know something, find out about it... ask questions...

And that, you must make your interviewer feel na you are eager to work and that you are hard working, tipong harangan ka man ng sibat, bumagyo, lumindol, papasok ka pa rin sa opisina...

Okay lang na medyo kinakabahan ka and admit it to your interviewer, they would understand that... okay lang yan, basta you can articulate yourself in English...

I was told before na one main stay question sa interview is why you want to work for their company... and ang sagot, kasi you heard that they have good compensation package... palaging correct ang sagot na yan... hehehehehehehe... kahit na in my case, the reason is usually kasi sila unang tumawag... palaging ganun ako... 3 call center, palaging sila yung una kasi tumawag...

I have never been a sales person... pero kung yung program na paglalagyan sa'yo sale program, one tanong is how would you sell something... usually something weird... like bagoong flavored candy... you don't try to sell it really, just tell them that you would study the product, know what it's for, highlight it's advantages and try to downplay it's disadvantages... 

Yun, I don't have an American accent, di naman na siya masyadong required... specially now na pwede mo na sabihin na you are outside the US, that you are in the Philippines... ako, sosyal, European daw... akala ko complement... di pala... hehehehehehehehehe... pero at least, di "are you from India?" hahahahahaha...

Rainy Morning...

Still no improvement with the condition of my feet... 4th day on Gabapantin and Neurobion...

I did plan to go to Philhealth today and finally get over and done with it... I was told time and again about how important to maintain it... but... well, my feet hurt... and it was raining... but as if my mom was monitoring me through a crystal ball in Dubai, she texted me to tell me to take care of my Philhealth and SSS already...

Kasi natigil yung hulog ko nung magkasakit ako... no work, no pay kasi... so yun... although nagamit ko pa siya then... yung hospital bill went up to 33 thousand, sinagot naman ng Philhealth 13k... bringing down to 20 thou... and we submitted kasi receipt nung mga gamot na binili sa labas... we could refund it daw, abot 3 thousand din yun... pero up to now... ewan ko na kung ano nangyari...

Now with my SSS... problematic ang lintik... month before I got really sick, bigla akong ine-mail ng HR na mali daw ang SSS number ko na sinubmit... this is after 3 years of working there... di ba, luka-luka!!! And so I checked with SSS, and indeed wala nga yung SSS number... and when we search... mali yung spelling ng pangalan ko and that more than a year na di nahuhulogan yung SSS ko, this despite na buwan-buwan naman akong nakakaltasan... and up to now, di pa naayos... yung pangalan I think madali lang, but yung contribution, kailangan ko pang habolin...

So yun... I decided na maglunch kami Sta Lucia Mall, kasi sa likod sa may Brickroad... may office ng Philhealth... pero when we got there, it was people, haba ng pila... so I decided balik na lang ako tomorrow... early morning, we live near... one tricycle ride near...

Now I do plan to invade na may old company... asked them to take me back... beg even... but if really not... it does look bleak...  If so would be the case, then I would wage war with the HR people because of my SSS...

When we got home from Philhealth... I went to continue watching "Games of Thrones"... I started it yesterday... and I can't stop watching it... it was really, really good... grabe...! You should watch it... ewan ko if it is still running at HBO... but if you see a pirated copy... go buy it... ang ganda!!!

I do have a great sense of direction...

I need to find a place... I stumble to it immediately, like I know where exactly it is... I'm lucky that way... I was at RITM, OPD Annex was moved, don't know where, but just walked on a general direction and there I was... the same thing happened actually when I went to RITM the first time... that was May... never been to Alabang before... but when I got there, I was told to look for the new firehouse, literally I stumbled on it... nadapa ako as usual ng walang karason-rason and when I look as I pick myself up, there's the firehouse... galing 'no...

I went kasi last night I notice na kounti na lang yung ARV ko... and indeed for 9 days na lang siya, so tipong 1 weeks na lang... eh ayoko naman mangyari ulit tulad nung huli na naubusan ako at tipong laki ng problema... so I decided to go... long due na rin kasi yung need for me to see a doctor... because of my neuropathy and the blood stain on my sputum...

Good thing pa, I went later... I was planning sana to go really early to avoid traffic... like before 6am early... mabuti na lang natakot ako sa lamig tubig pag naligo ako... so I left around 9 na, and arrived at RITM almost 11 am na... buti na lang, kasi there were no doctors available... the doctor only came after lunch... but even so, I was only able to talk to a doctor around 3 pm na... 

Wait... do you maintain a private doctor? Should I maintain a private doctor and just go to RITM for ARV refills? 

Why am I even asking, as if I could afford it...

O sige, out of curiosity...

So I told the doctor about the neuropathic pain... I told her about the last time when I told about the doctor about it, and was recommended to take Vitamin B Complex... I told her that I was taking Neurogen E... but to no avail... so she decided to put me on Gabapentin, which when I check, according to wikipedia:

 "provides significant pain relief in about a third of people who take it for fibromyalgia or chronic neuropathic pain. It is also effective in reducing narcotic usage post operatively and is helpful in neuropathic pain due to cancer. It has not been shown to be useful for HIV associated sensory neuropathy. When used for neuropathic pain it does not appear superior to carbamazepine. Further evidence is needed to determine if it is effective for migraine prevention. It appears to be equally effective as pregabalin and is of lower cost. It does not appear to be of benefit in treating complex regional pain syndrome." 

Sounds promising... she also recommended a Vitamin B complex brand, as it is more concentrated... Neurobion?

I also mention about the blood streak on my phlegm... explaining that I was a TB patient, recovering, I hope... She was a bit concern... but when I explained the circumstances, like I have no shortness in breathe or difficulty in breathing, no fever, no lost of appetite... she was relieved... she think it is just gasgas sa lalamonan... but just to make sure and anyway it was my fifth month of therapy... she wants me to take sputum test...

And then, maybe she just thought to ask, if the family have a history of diabetes, which, yes we do... and she thinks, though I am too young, high blood sugar can also cause neuropathy... so she also wants me to take blood sugar test, I forgot the right term but basically that is another test...

So, I started on ARV around 2nd week of June... My CD4 was done about a week or so before that... so my 2nd CD4 should be around 1st week of December... the doctor noted that... and educated me na malakas magpapayat ang Stavudine... she explained that perhaps the reason why I was given Stavudine before was because I have low hemoglobin... so she ordered, aside from CD4 count, CBC... she also just gave me just a month supply of ARV, since yun nga, next month, I might be given a different combination of ARV...

On Skins season 4, Episode 5: JJ is in love with Lara Lloyd, a fellow employee at a confectionery shop, but lacks the courage to ask her out. Thomas gets JJ to ask her out and she accepts. He visits Lara’s flat and discovers that she is a single mother with a young child. Lara’s ex-boyfriend, Liam, walks in and threatens JJ, telling him to leave Lara and his child alone. The date goes disastrously as a result, and Lara leaves. JJ finds her and they have sex at Lara’s. JJ returns home but his mother takes him to the clinic for more medication. JJ lets Lara meet Naomi and Emily. Upstairs, Emily tells JJ that Lara is using him to get back at her ex. JJ snaps at Emily and makes remarks on her own relationship, reducing her to tears. JJ’s family also think Lara is a slut and she leaves, offended. JJ becomes angry and beats up Liam when he sees him talking to Lara, who then calls off their relationship. JJ apologises to Liam who tells JJ he loves his child and for JJ to look after Lara. JJ serenades Lara with a ukelele version of 'True' by Spandau Ballet, and she takes him back.


On my way home, I pass by Mercury Drug... I took out the prescription for my neuropthy... and have them priced it... Gabapantin is Php29.75 each, a table a day, for 15 days... and the Neurobion is Php17.50 each, a tablet a day, for 30 days... so I was looking at Php446.25, just for the Gabapantin... and if I just get 15 tablets of the neurobion, Php262.50... I only just have Php1500... naiyak ako...


Wala, naawa ako sa sarile ko... wala kasi akong pambili... akala ko kasi matatapos na yung hirap ko... yung sakit... I was so hopeful... pero, yun nga... mahal pala... tapos I started thinking saan ko kukunin yung pambayad dun sa mga test... CD4 alone cost Php3000... as it is hirap na hirap na kami to make things meet... so yun, sa paglabas ko ng Mercury, naiyak na lang ako... try ko pigilan kasi nakakahiya... pero wala... di ko mapigilan... umupo na lang ako sa isang tabi... 


Feeling ko kasi talong talo na ko... and as much as I want to fight back it is either I am starting to believe that it is no use... o pagod na pagod na lang ako...


Syempre drama lang yan... wala naman ako choice but to get up, wipe my tears away, hail a jeep... get home and be crazy again to believe everything is going to be okay...