yummy pick #009

watching porn

I just blogged yesterday about my quest to gain weight... mass...

As I was blogging, I was eating hot pandesal with liver spread and coke... I finished five... But then, I think it was the coke, I was not able to sleep the whole night... like really, I just managed to sleep after I took in my ARV and pain relievers for my back... 8 in the morning... and after a take out breakfast meal from Jollibee--cornbeef meal and pineapple juice...

I woke up 4:30 in the afternoon... had coffee in the bathroom and straight to shower... I was to go to hear mass... my back still hurts, not as much, but it still hurts when I walk...

After mass, I was to meet my brother for dinner... anyhow, that is not the story... the thing was as I was on the jeep... nakaupo ako dun sa dulo, and a guy was seated next to me... and that I was not minding him, I was looking out kasi dun sa may sakayan ng jeep... but then, di naman kasi puno yung jeep masyado but then his elbow keeps nudging me and there were times it was resting on my skinny legs... and that at one time, I was forced to look... and that I saw that he was watching porn on his cellphone... and it was an M2M porn...

Like, really!!!

And that my initial reaction was to look away, feeling embarrass... to which, I thought why...? He should be the one embarrass... but clearly he wasn't... and somehow, it became clear to me--though, perhaps, it did occur to me too, that I was over thinking things--that he was showing it... to let me know... us... well, there was also another guy seated next to him... but then... he have his elbow resting on my legs and that he keeps on "accidentally" nudging me...

Tempted...

Really tempted...

Haven't gotten laid for months tempted...

My brother was waiting me at the next stop... I could message him... I pulled the string...

yummy pick #008

weight watch

I know what I need to do... but for some reason, I am not doing it... I need to do it...

I was at the doctor yesterday because of my back problem... and the nurse weighted me in... she put me at 43 kg... which is 94.6 lb... my weight just dropped again... I thought she must have gotten it wrong... but confirmed it on my own weighting scale at home... I am less than a hundred pounds...

So, while everybody in the world seemed to be having problem cutting down on their weight... I am about to embarked to gaining more weight... 

Does this make me a hipster...?

Well, my back is still bad thought the new set of pain relievers seemed to be working... so for this week, I am to eat everything twice... kidding... but that seemed not to be a bad idea... but the plan is to eat as much... carbo loading... I am to eat carbs every 2 waking hours... 

Hopefully, after this week... my back will be fine and so I can go back weight training next week... hopefully...

yummy pick #007

Challenge Accepted

Wait! What's the challenge?

Hehehehehehehehehehehe...

There is this website http://www.pinoyhivpositive.org, it was created by a certain twitdude: @positivepoako aka Blood of Mercy, he is also have another twitter account: @PinoyHIVPositiv (pinoyhivpositive.org), you can also check his blog: http://positivepoako.blogspot.com... he is 22 Filipino HIV+ and that he aims to unite, through the website he created all Filipino living with HIV...

A very good cause... I do porn on my blog... as you can see, even this blog is littered with pictures of hot men... but between a good cause and hot men... hot men are easier to market... and get people interested... and that, at this age and time, people should already realize that and accept it as a fact and not shun it... it maybe the saddest commentary of this society but nonetheless true... people must like first what they see before they pay attention and listen... who cares if you have the solution for world hunger, world peace and the truth... if they don't like what they see first, people won't listen... Packaging is everything in this time and age... lesson 101...

Now, medyo tricky with an HIV org...  because everybody is into hiding... makapal lang mukha ko at sa twitter ko, picture ko talaga nasa profile ko (well, I photograph really well at medyo iba itsura ko sa personal kaya atapang atao ako)... but I don't think we could deny na malakas ang hatak ng picture ko...

The thing is Human Immunodeficiency Virus or HIV, the thought of it, is depressing and scary enough... and who wants to be depressed and scared? Who goes to the internet, be on social networking sites, to be depressed? It needed to be pleasing to the eye... naughty perhaps... hopeful... a little up beat... depressing na  nga yung situation, depressing pa yung out look... we need to highlight the silver lining on the dark cloud... because sure, indeed it is a dark cloud over us... we all know that and that it is there to stay... but we don't really have to dwell on it... 

It should make people smile... and not be bombarded with the reality they are living in... they must feel hope despite everything...

Am I suggesting changing layout and content...? Am I...? Not really sure... lolx

Now, when he came out of his grievance na medyo hindi yata nagcliclick yung website/org... my first suggestion was to create a mobile app for the site... thinking the reason why we opt to ignore the site and not leave twitter is that twitter is very convenient... I tweet using my phone most of the time... I think most people do... they check updates and response to twits using their mobile phone... 

I still think so... this is something, that if it is doable, be looked into...

I am currently suffering from sciatic nerve pain... slip disk... I am having a hard time getting up in bed, more so walking... it actually have jeopardized my work already... and more... well I did plan before that when things got settled... career wise, at least a sense of stability... despite neuropathy which I have learned to ignore and accept as a fact of life... I would be hanging out at my hub: ARG/RITM, once a week, during my off (I have always choose week days off, I give the weekends to my colleagues who have family and children, they need that more than I do)... wala lang... to offer hope... Marvin's mom was very hopeful the first day they went to ARG, seeing other with HIV, she hardly can't believe it... she was hopeful that her son would one day be like those others who were there... and to talk... and just let them know na they are not alone in this... and that we could be friends and enjoy life despite HIV...

yummy pick #006

untitled 001

I do find him cute... he is hot... but then, with my condition—healthwise... plus, my status—financial wise... not to mention, tanda ko na yata for that... I don't think I want any complications, specially that type of complication... and that, napansin ko lang naman na cute siya kasi kay L.A., kabatch ko... crush na crush kasi niya 'to... at ang kay Pedro ay kay Pedro; ang kay Juan ay kay Juan... di ba...?

Besides, I was crushing on someone else... funny nga, kasi mistaken identity... tawag ko kasi dun sa crush ko cupcake... kabatch din namin... eh minsan a number of us went out for a drink, at least they did, I don't drink... nag update ako ng FB status ko: “Lasing na si cupcake”... and everyone assumed na si cupcake na palagi ko binabangit sa FB status ko eh kabatch namin, na kasama namin lumabas that night... which was true... but then for some reason, they also assumed that it was Eze... well, cute naman si Eze, medyo kulang nga lang sa baba... pero cute at mabait pa... inate sa kanya yung pagiging nice at palabati... and that okay, sure, madalas kaming seat mate sa training at nakakakulitan ko 'tong si Eze... pero kasi di siya yung crush ko... otherwise, I don't think makukulit ko siya tulad ng kulitan namin... Okay lang, at least, di pa buking kung sino talaga yung crush ko... although, di ko maintindihan kung bakit di nila pinagsuspetsahan yung talagang crush ko when kung tutuusin mas cute naman yun and he was with us that night...? And that because lahat eh convinced na si cupcake eh si Eze, pati yata siya, nacoconvince at medyo nailang na sa akin... pero, okay lang...

Anyway, so yun, napansin ko lang naman itong si Carlo, dahil kay L.A... funny kasi, whenever we see him, palaging sinasabi ni L.A., “ang lalakeng hinugot sa aking tadyang...”

Di kami actually naintroduce... nakakasalubong namin siya... nakakasalubong sa hallway... nakakasabay magyosi... pero walang introduction na tipong, “Carlo meet Alex; Alex meet Carlo...” Kahit naman yata sila nila L.A., walang ganun... alam lang namin iisang account kami and well, we see each other around... and that nung nagumpisang usap-usap sila ni L.A... di kami nakikisalo... moment ni L.A. yun, so di na kami nakikieksena... kahit pagnakakasabay magyosi... pagnakatyempo si L.A. ng usap para magpacute, dumetestansya kami...

One day, pakalat kalat itong si Carlo with other guys sa floor, nakatambay... and one of the guys was tyrone who nung nasa training room pa lang kami, pumunta sa amin to invite us sa club nila, which is parang glee club... pero di lang for singers, it's actually for everybody who have something to do with entertainment... dancers, stand comedians, and even people who have a knock for organizing events and shows... well, no one signed up for it though may mga interesado sana... mainly because di malinaw yung detalye... nadiscourage yung iba kasi may audition pa...

I was not interested... mainly because I can't dance and sing... but for some reason, siningle out ako nitong si Tyrone, lumapit siya sa akin sa station and was inviting me to join the club... I said no and refer him kanila LA, kasi they did show interest before, lalo pa ngayon na alam na namin na kasama sa club itong si Carlo...

Ewan ko kung ano nangyari sa usap nila... but yun... nakilala nila si Tyrone who hangs out with Carlo and some other guys who are not bad looking either and yun... I don't know if after that they started hanging out together... kasi di ko sila nakakasabay magbreak at mag lunch... may sinesend kasi na break sched... at syempre, since newbie, pakitang gilas muna... sunod muna sa break schedule...

Anyhow, one time, naabutan ko sila sa yosihan, sa may harap ng building... I was to quit smoking but then, with all the stress the call center industry have to offer, minsan, you really can't help but want to smoke... magkakasama sila LA, Philip at Trish... and that kausap nila sila Tyrone and Carlo and some other guy... so I joined them... tayo lang ako dun and nakiyosi... I don't remember, pero may pinaguusapan yata sila ni Tyrone at LA that time and that nakisindi ako kay Trish when Carlo said to me, “Yoyosi ka pala...?” to which tungo lang ako sabay smile... I actually always get that naman kasi... for some reason, yung mga bagong kilala, di nila ineexpect that I do smoke... and specially now, na madalang talaga akong magsmoke... kasi nga I am trying to quit... because of my condition...

And, I guess, I can't blame anyone, na since I smoke nga, they assume that I drink... specially na call center agent ako... Katulad nitong si Carlo, which after ko tumungo, biglang nagsabi na, “Inom tayo mamaya...”

I actually don't drink... I can, pero kasi matagal ko ng inamin sa sarile ko na di ko gusto ang lasa ng alcohol... and that, takaw gulo kasi ako pagnalalasing... tipong akala mo kalakihan ang katawan kung makapaghamon ng away... eh Maynila ito 'no... so I don't drink...

Di ko inassume na ako yung ininvite niya, bakit? Specially na narinig ni Trish who was standing next to me... and pati si Philip and the other guy who was with us... si LA at si Tyrone lang yata ang di nakarinig and si Philip yung pumick up nung invitation, interrupting the two, “inom daw tayo mamaya,” sabay turo kay Carlo... to which agreeable halos lahat, well except Trish, who we know eh di sasama at may asawa't 4 na anak siyang naghihintay sa bahay... and they started to agree na after shift... kasi bagong sweldo nga sila so game na game sila... basta ako, yosi lang ako...

Wala akong balak sumama... sumama kasi ako before, nung kami kami lang na magkakabatch, eh kinakantyawan nila ko na uminom din... na tipong madaya daw ako... so ayoko na talaga sumama sa kanila... kasi kahit the last time na sinabi ko sa kanila na sasama lang ako pero di ako iinom, sabi pa rin nila madaya daw ako... not that I ever given in... red horse kasi iniinom nila, kung hard drink sana, kahit gin bulag at sipol lang ang chaser, baka napagbigyan ko pa sila... pero beer, no... so yun... and I think they knew na di na talaga ako sasama, o ayaw talaga isama, kasi nga di ako iinom...

So yun, after shift, diretso ko uwi... baka kasi magbago isip nila, pilitin akong sumama...

I just walked in the door nung nagtext si Tom sa akin, another becky na kabatch namin... sabi niya sa text, tinatanong daw ni Tyrone kung bakit di ako sumama, that hiningi niya number ko, and that binigay daw niya...

Okay...

Tyrone...? Why...? Really...?

And another text came in paglabas ko ng banyo and was to go to sleep, sabi sa text si Carlo daw siya and asking me kung bakit di ako sumama...

Di ako reply...

Eh sabi ni Tom, si Tyrone ang nanghingi ng number ko and nagtatanong kung bakit di ako sumama, tapos biglang Carlo... so, di na ko nagreply and natulog na lang ako...

yummy pick #005

money rules

I am broke... that will a test how credible this entry would be... and that you may stop reading...

But to those who would insist... this are a few rules about how to handle your money... not totally original, I picked up most from other people, and that I try to live within this rules when it comes to money... mayhaps, you might pick up some tips...

The first rule about money is what Suze Orman... heard of her, if not, hit google... anyhow, she always say, first rule about money is that people comes first... people would always comes first before money... regardless how much or less money you have... people would always comes first... your relationship with them, their health... their happiness... it should always be considered... and by people, it includes you... and that any rules there is you or whoever about money should be over ruled by this... people come first...

Another rule that I follow is... if I don't have the money on hand or readily available to me, that means I don't have it... this is, sure, I show up at work everyday and that surely, I would get paid  but as long as my pay is not in my payroll bank account, I don't consider it yet as my money... This is a classic you saw something you like in the mall a few days before you get paid... a shirt, a bag... a shoe... or a gadget... and that it is totally out of the budget... and that you go ahead still buy it reasoning to your self that you would get paid in a few days... don't... specially if you are to use a credit card... NO...

That is another rule... if you don't have the money on hand to buy something... chances are you really can't afford it... trust me on that... although, there are some big acquisitions that does require getting a loan or a credit... like buying a living space, a car... or some really expensive gadget like a laptop... the key to that is to make sure you have enough money in savings to cover it for three to six months... because just encase...

Another rule that I live by is I spend the extra money from the previous pay out... so if a splurge on 25th... the money I used it what I have managed to save from the 10th pay out...

Always check on the things that take care of your future... look at your pay slip... you would see there you are deducted for SSS, for your PagIbig fund, and PhilHealth... make sure and verify that this deductions have been remitted and that it is up to date... and that avoid unnecessary loans or claim... like when I got hospitalized... I was told not to file claim for disability to my SSS... this is mainly because SSS would be my pension plan... same goes with your PagIbig Fund... with PhilHealth, it would be a good idea if you take care of it on your own... specially for people like us... just pay annually... the cost is very minimal...

Now the tricky part... family and friends... family most specially... you have to do your obligation... pay your debt... and that at most of the case the number 1 rule about money should always apply... people first before money... and that you have to sort out your priorities... of course, you can not give what you don't have... you need to draw the line there, if you have to barrow money... but well, as much as possible, it is family and that we should give back... but you know when you can no longer breath... 

Now with lending money... never expect to be paid back... specially if it is a family or a friend who is borrowing money... mainly, the logic why they are borrowing money is because they don't have money... what you are expecting the money you lend them be doubled...? If so, have it in writing... otherwise, never expect they would pay back... thus, you only lend money if it is indeed an extra money, meaning excess... meaning you don't need it and thus can afford to give it away... and that it would be a good idea not to ask for it...

But again, let me reiterate... the first rule... people first before money... all the rules in money should be over ruled by this rule... people first before money... because money, you can earn it... but people... once it is gone, it is gone and that no matter what you do or how hard you work or how much money you gain... you wouldn't have them back... 

yummy pick #4

no choice

I'm afraid... I am left with no choice... just moving hurt like hell...

The pain is excruciating... standing up is a challenge... walking is impossible...

You know me... I can tolerate pain... but this is just too much pain...

So, I don't think I have much choice... I would have to resign from work... I don't want to... believe it or not, I actually love working... being around people... talking... and even if, I need the money... I have to love what I do... it really a simple as that... love what you do...

But I really can't... my back and right leg hurts so bad... and that is not all, it is worsening my neuropathy... people are sedated for a lot less pain than this... and that I am worried one day, I would wake up not able to walk anymore...

It is kind of cruel actually... I don't know what caused it... why it had to happen to me... why now... just when I thought things are looking up... and that I was full of hope... life is a bitch...

yummy pick #3

pretentious prestige

Well, I am not much into TV right now... specially that I hate that TV station claiming to broadcast live when really they tend to broadcast delayed telecast... like really, with all the new technology right now... like com'on... so, I turned much to the internet...  

I watched the London Olympic Games Opening Ceremony live via online streaming...  last year I also viewed the 3 international beauty pageant online: Miss Universe, Miss World and Miss International... 

I was to view Miss World 2012 also online last night... but that didn't work out... so much buffering... not sure if it was my connection or problem with the feed but nonetheless... Miss China won in China...

Not unusual... it happened before... specially in the Miss World Beauty Pageant... last being... well, China winning in China in 2007...

Hahahahahahahahahaha...

It happened before, the host country winning... It happened at the Miss Universe Pageant... The Miss Earth Pageant... not sure about Miss International... no Japanese have won the title yet...

And why not, if the host country's girl is deserving... if you argue otherwise, if the host country should not win ... then why allow the host country to have a representative...? like really what would be the point if she is not to win...?

Problem with Miss World is that, at least in the recent editions, we don't know what is going on... yes, they do have this leader board, with scores on it... constantly updating... but we never really know where are the scores coming from, what they are based on... like really... that it looked pretentious... when really, we just need to look at it this way... sure, they may have a number of judges but really there is just one person who decides who will win... Julia Morley, the owner and CEO of Miss World... even if the 10 or so judges think the other girl should wear the crown, if Julia Morley thinks otherwise, Julia over rules...

Ironically, it what makes the Miss World more prestigious... you are chosen my a self proclaim god, who will not be swayed by other people's opinion but her own...

Still in so much pain... sciatic nerve, kumalma ka na! Please...

Resignation at work is on the table, don't want to reach for it... but, I am left with not much choice...

yummy pick #2